Despite the increased awareness of the importance of body positivity in the media and real life, the number of children and teens, regardless of gender, with eating disorders continues to rise. If their parents are recently separated or divorced, that can only worsen their issues around food.
If you’re co-parenting a child with an eating disorder, it’s crucial to be able to work with your ex to help maintain shared expectations in both homes. This can be especially challenging if your co-parent doesn’t share your views around how it should be treated or even that they have an eating disorder.
It’s crucial for your child’s health and well-being that you and your co-parent are on the same page as much as possible if you’re sharing custody. It can help to meet together with your child’s doctor and/or therapist so that your spouse better understands the nature of the disorder and how best to help your child.
Addressing it in your parenting plan
It’s wise to then include some provisions in your parenting plan related to your child’s eating disorder. Those treating your child may recommend things like the following:
- Don’t talk to your child about their weight (or anyone else’s). Focus on encouraging healthy eating habits.
- Don’t discuss dieting or calories.
- Don’t use scales or fitness trackers. These can create even more pressure for a child.
- Make sure your home and refrigerator are stocked with the foods your child should be eating and not with anything they need to avoid.
- Model the eating habits your child needs to work on.
You may already be doing some or all of these things. However, if your co-parent refuses to follow the plan you’ve agreed on with medical and mental health professionals, it may be necessary to seek a different custody arrangement where you have primary or even sole custody of your child. If you believe that’s the only way to protect your child’s health, you’ll need to make that case to a judge.
Each situation is highly unique. It always helps to have sound legal guidance to rely on when you have questions or concerns.